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Sexual Health: Good Sex Comes In All Sizes  Previous Next

Good Sex Comes In All Sizes

Terrance Lile (Uncle Terry)

From the Flintstones to popular sitcoms such as the King of Queens and Still Standing, overweight men are paired with sexy, slender women. Even Kirstie Alley who starred in that short-lived sitcom Fat Actress has now dropped 50 pounds. By today’s television standards the voluptuous Marilyn Monroe would be considered overweight for Hollywood. Television programming causes humans to be self-conscience of their bodies. In advertisements, girls with zero size waists give society an image that has come to be expected. In return, humans are nervous about jumping into bed with their “not so perfect” figures. Despite what the images are portraying, females and males with imperfect figures can have great sex as well.

When an extremely thin person or an overweight person visits and asks for advice, I do not promote gaining an extra 50 pounds nor do I discourage its loss. For health reasons alone, those of us that are overweight would usually be better off by shedding a few pounds. I am suggesting though that we need to ease up a bit on equating fat and failure. Even us overweight people are concerned about our appearance. The next time you are driving on the interstate and find yourself behind someone checking them self out in the mirror, take a closer look. Not all of these reckless drivers applying their makeup or shaving have twig like figures.

When it comes to love and romance, some people actually prefer a mate who is not the size of a twig. The term, “more cushion, for the pushin’” is often used to describe one’s desire to have some meat on their mate. Contrary to women’s beliefs, many men actually see curves as beautiful and feminine. After all, sexiness does not derive from thin hips and famished looking bodies. Although there may be “junk in the trunk,” there are those who actually crave curves in a lover.

There’s someone out there for everyone. This is an awful mindset. It is a cop-out piece of advice that a semi-close friend would give you concerning the latest hunt for a mate. Instead, believe you are amazing and anyone could be yours. Show some confidence in your step. Having a good mentality of yourself will shine in bed and, in some ways, help the other person to see how great you are. Nobody is perfect, so why should you pretend to be? Chances are your partner is also uncomfortable with at least one part of their body. Therefore, you should feel better knowing that you are not alone. If your mate is unable to understand your concerns, then it is time to move on and catch another fish.

If you really are unable to overcome the issues you have with your appearance, take it slow. Try to avoid jumping into bed right away. Get to know your partner before creating an awkward situation for yourself. If you know each other, hopefully you will start to feel comfortable and become less worried about your looks. If necessary, try fooling around with the lights out. This way, although they still know what you look like, you wont focus on what they are staring at. Another alternative to being self-conscious is to experiment with lingerie. This not only enhances any experience, but it can make you feel sexier. While there are pieces of sexy lingerie that will leave you more exposed, there are others that will cover up just enough. As a result, you can use this to feel more comfortable in your skin, while your partner will enjoy it just as much.

Everyone has the opportunity to have great sex. Remain confident, communicate with your mate, and try as many different sexual positions as humanly possible. Remember, beauty is not what television programming and advertisements say it is. Fake breasts, twig legs and plastic faces are not beauty; they are just adornments. Everyone is different, and that is beautiful. If your partner can’t see through your flaws, then it’s time to move on.

Writer Terrance Lile brings you Ask Uncle Terry & ForumErotica, the fastest growing sexual education experience in cyberspace. Through a blend of morality, sincerity and humor this website provides sexual information for the enjoyment of diverse and safe sexual practices, while at the same time encouraging abstinence until in a committed relationship.

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