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Sexual Health: First Time Intercourse  Previous Next

First Time Intercourse

Terrance Lile (Uncle Terry)

At AskUncleTerry.com we talk a lot about safe sex and waiting for sex until in a committed adult relationship. First time intercourse should not be based upon a hasty decision, but rather a chaste one. Losing your virginity is very important and is certainly a moment that is remembered forever. If you feel it is time, let your partner know. With this knowledge, he/she should not only be respectful of your choice, but also very willing to make your experience unforgettable.

For women, first time intercourse may be painful. The discomfort may come from dryness of the vaginal walls or from the breaking of the hymen. The hymen, a thin protective layer of skin, may already have been broken due to gymnastics or horseback riding. Nevertheless, when it breaks it is known as, “popping the cherry.” At this point, the hymen will cause some blood to appear.

The dryness may come from a lack of her ability to enjoy the ride. If the woman is too concerned about someone seeing her naked, she will find it hard to relax and let her womanly juices flow. Those juices are a natural lubricant that will invite his penis over for dinner and welcome him to stay a while. If he is hurting you by going too far in or too fast, let him know. This is a moment that should be savored and not rushed.

When a man has sex for the first time, he may be afraid of premature ejaculation, or feel as though his manhood is insignificant. It is imperative for the man to show confidence and believe in his ability to make the ladies crazy. His female companion can help him with his confidence problems, by letting him know that he really turns her on.

At times, anxiety might get the best of you, thus it is vital to try and relax. Let your partner know that you are scared, because they can clearly calm you down. Put on relaxing music and light some candles; do whatever is necessary to help put you at ease.

There comes a time in every man’s life when he is ready for sex. This cliché phrase is great, but it doesn’t include the other half of the equation; your partner. The most essential part to succeed in making love for the first time is communication. Let each other know where you stand. By doing so, your experience will be much more special.

Unfortunately in today’s society, the word “virginity” carries a negative connotation. People are beginning to have sex at younger ages and are diluting their morality. High school students poke fun at those who value their decision to wait. Kids can be cruel at times, and social pressures force a lot of young adults to rush. Much like holding hands, oral sex is becoming a standard in dating. The act of rounding third base has never been less controversial, and thus develops into a “gateway” for sex. For this reason, don’t let outside pressure influence your decision.

Before you choose to lose your virginity, ask yourself, “Are you ready?” How many times have you left the mall with an impulse purchase in your hand? You should never rush into sex. Make sure the heat of the moment doesn’t overwhelm your decision making skills. If this does happen, take a deep breath and then come to a decision. Sex isn’t like a pair of heels that can be returned with a receipt.

While sex is always a new experience, it shouldn’t be a scary rollercoaster ride. Rather, it should be a blissful swim at the lake. Be prepared and have the condoms ready to go. No condom no sex. Don’t rush into intercourse, this should not be a “slam, bam, thank you mam,” occasion. Take your time and get to know each other’s body and points of pleasure. Tell each other what feels good and what does not. In time, you will have more fun than you could have ever imagined.


Writer Terrance Lile brings you Ask Uncle Terry, an increasingly popular sexual education website. Through a blend of sincerity and humor this website provides sexual information and advice, offers a free forum, promotes safe sex, and encourages abstinence until in a committed relationship. http://www.askuncleterry.com

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